Nov 02, 2022

How to Console a Loved One During a Difficult Time

When your loved one is going through a rough patch and needs some extra support, you should be careful with your actions and words. Staying quiet is not a solution either, because they may interpret that as insensitivity. Avoid saying “it’s God’s plan” or other statements that can make them feel like God targeted them. Here are other things you can do to comfort your loved one when they’re feeling down:

Send Them Some Flowers

Flowers are a great way to show your loved one that you care – they can make them feel as though they’re not alone during a difficult time. If you’re not sure what to get, consider sending them a batch of sympathy flowers with their favorite colors and scents. Or if they don’t have any particular favorites, choose something neutral like lilies or roses—just make sure it’s something that smells good!

Make It About Them

Listen to what they have to say. When someone is struggling with a situation, it can be tempting to jump in and offer suggestions or solutions. But try not to do that at this point to avoid overwhelming them, as they are still dealing with their loss. Instead, try listening as best you can and ask questions when necessary (e.g., “What would help?”).

Don’t try to fix their problem for them—or tell them how things should be handled on your part, either. If your loved one is upset about something specific, like losing a job, give yourself some space from trying to take care of all those details; it will only make things worse if they start feeling overwhelmed too soon. 

Help Them Find Strength in Others

When you’re in a difficult situation, it’s easy to feel alone and like no one can relate. But many people have been through similar experiences before, and they’ve found ways to cope with them.

If your loved one is feeling isolated or overwhelmed by their grief, find ways for them to reach out and connect with others—even if those connections are just virtual ones on social media or forums like Reddit. We all need human interaction sometimes; it helps us remember that we’re not alone during our darkest moments. 

Don’t Let Conversations Be Too One-Sided

You want to be sure that you’re not letting the conversation be too one-sided. It’s easy to talk about your own problems and difficulties, but it can be more difficult for your loved one to discuss their issues as well. Try asking questions like “Some people struggle with eating after a loss. Are you eating regularly?” This will give them a chance to tell their story without feeling pressured into doing so.

Also, don’t let yourself get too emotional during these conversations—if someone feels like they’re being bombarded with piles of negative emotions when they’re dealing with a loss, they’ll shut down completely and stop listening altogether. So try not only listening with empathy but also refraining from showing any signs of distress yourself – remember you’re there to comfort them, not to add to their stress.

Give Them a Way to Express Themselves

Ask them what they need. It’s important to ask your loved one how they’d like you to console them, and then follow up with that request. For example, “what would make you feel better?”, “would you like to talk with friends and family members who understand your situation?”, or “wouldn’t it be nice if we could just sit on the couch together and watch TV?” are just fine.

You may also give them a notebook or journal so they can write down their feelings in an organized way. This can help them come up with some words for their emotions and get rid of any thoughts that are causing distress at the moment. This will make it easier for them to track their progress every day.

Provide Quiet Company

People are different, so don’t be shocked if your loved one doesn’t want to talk about their feelings. Here, it’s important to offer them quiet company. Don’t try to force the conversation or offer advice unless they ask for it. This can help them cope with their emotions better in their style; don’t put pressure on them.

Allow Them to Feel Their Emotions Without Judgment

This can be hard for some people, but you should try your best. You’ll be surprised at how much better they’ll feel when they can express themselves freely and openly. If a loved one is crying and you’re feeling uncomfortable with it, try not to judge them or think that they’re weak or pointless. They are genuinely upset because they lost someone close to them or because they lost their job, and they’re responding to their loss naturally—it’s okay if these things make them sad!

Offer Physical Support When You Can

Helping with chores is one of the best ways to empathize with a grieving partner. Ask them what they need help with and then offer to do it. For example, if your loved one is having trouble dealing with their parent’s divorce, you could say, “I think the best thing I can do right now is to link you up with an attorney for legal advice.”

Also, help your loved one to make a list of all the things that need to get done for them to feel better, or at least less upset. This might include:

  • Ensuring they take their medications on time
  • Ensuring they eat regularly (and healthy food)
  • Doing some exercises
  • Accompanying them to the counselor


Sometimes, all we need is to know that those closest to us are thinking about us and have our back. You don’t have to be an expert on the situation to be helpful, nor do you have to talk about what’s happening ‌or offer advice on how you would handle it if you were in their shoes. Just being there can be the missing link.

It’s also okay if your loved one doesn’t want your help at first; they might not feel like they need any extra support right now but will appreciate knowing that someone cares enough about them.

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